December 2011
17 posts
2 tags
“People who are not interested in food always seem rather dry and unloving and...”
– Julia Child (via isabellemarieb)
3 tags
1 tag
I have the weirdest dreams. Ever.
4 tags
Dear Rick Perry,
I thought I’d educate you a bit on religious persecution.
From 1558 until 1829, Roman Catholics in England were not permitted to practice their faith openly. Someone during that era wrote this carol as a catechism song for young Catholics. It has two levels of meaning: the surface meaning plus a hidden meaning known only to members of their church. Each element in the carol has a code...
My thoughts...
accio-huon-energy:
Rick Perry: I’m not ashamed to admit that I’m a Christian, but you don’t need to be in the pew every Sunday to know there’s something wrong in this country when gays can serve openly in the military but our kids can’t openly celebrate Christmas or pray in school.
Me: I’m sorry, I don’t follow you. That’s like saying, ‘How can an ant carry twenty times its body weight, but...
3 tags
Be careful who you start shit with...
Me: Loser.
Courtney: Your mom.
Me: I took your mom to dinner last night. Such a nice evening. You know what else was nice? The way she screamed my name as I banged the shit out of her after.
Courtney: I'm glad to hear my mom puts out, yours was such a prude.
Me: Well you know what they say about apples and trees and falling shit.
Courtney: Oh, that the apple doesn't fall far from the woman who took a lot of coaxing to get her legs to finally open up?
Me: Something like that, yeah.
Courtney: I love you and you better know this was pure your mom jokes :-* Why are you not napping?
Me: Because my inner frat bro doesn't nap. He dreams about motorboating your mom all night long.
Courtney: Just motorboating. Your inner frat bro has the same impotence issues that your outer napoleonic male does.
3 tags
Politics, dammit!
Michele Bachmann: I'm afraid we won't see a permanent solution to this problem; we'll just temporary gimmicks...
Holly Ho: Yeah, it's called politics sweetie...
3 tags
DAWWWWWW
Pinky: When are you coming home
Me: I have no idea.
Pinky: Well shit
Me: Why?
Pinky: Cause I need me some mimi. Would just fuckin come home?
Who I would vote for before I would vote for Rick...
adequategatsby:
Sean Parker
that asshole in The Karate Kid
my dog, Sadie
Will Schuester
Zooey Deschanel’s character in The New Girl
Matt Smith’s eyebrows
Reasons to not get sick
Tilley: I think I got sicker overnight :/
Me: What kind of sicker??
Tilley: Hurts to swallow.
Me: You probably shouldn't give any blowjobs anytime soon.
Tilley: DAMMIT!
3 tags
Dear Musescore,
Just so you know,
WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
Sincerely,
Disgruntled music student with a project due tomorrow