February 2012
9 posts
3 tags
“Slut” is how we vilify a woman for exercising her right to say “yes”....”
– angels-and-angles
this is an amazing quote
(via livelaughawesome)
January 2012
25 posts
3 tags
I don't do all nighters for a reason.
Earlier this week I pulled an all nighter to finish an essay for my history class. The notes I took were a million kinds of ridiculous.
Why Bitches Choose to Emigrate to English America
1. Because indentured servitude on Virginia Beach is a thousand times better than rainy English freedom.
2. I don’t want to marry that bitch…better go to America.
3. My boyfriend wears a powdered...
4 tags
Mimi On Cold Meds
Me: There may or may not be a dinosaur outside my apartment.
CM: A dinosaur, huh?
Me: Yup. A dinosaur.
CM: What makes you think dinosaur?
Me: Because it sounded like it, duh.
CM: ...you are not helpful.
United States of America: Good news, guys, we took down Megaupload. Now everyone can rest easy!
Health Care System:
Hand-gun Violence:
Unemployment:
Public Education:
Gay Marriage:
Marijuana Legislation:
Middle East Conflict:
World Hunger:
Cancer Research:
Ron Weasley: You really need to sort out your priorities.
3 tags
My Favorite Things
Armand Hirsch Trio ft....
3 tags
Just a small personal rant...
I don’t like writing posts about my personal life online because I don’t really think it’s anyone else’s business, but sometimes you just have to get shit out.
Today I am writing about how forgettable I seem to be.
This really wouldn’t be a problem if I had heard from my darling, attentive boyfriend more than once yesterday. I’m not needy; I don’t need...
MIMIHASNOFORKS #putinyourplacebitch
davidxelectric:
now make me a sandwich
DAVID I HOPE YOU GET EATEN BY A SHARK.
Now make your own sandwich betch.
Henry (8) and Sal (10) watching "Marie Antoinette"
Henry: So what, you just like trade your daughter to another country to stop world war two or something?
Henry: They'd better not take that pug from the girl from Spider-man. Oh my GOD they did. I hate France.
Henry: I want a feather pen.
Sal: They are really heavy and hard to write with. You have to dip them in ink. They leave blotches.
Henry: You don't think I know that stuff? I tried to make a feather pen.
Henry: Is he wearing a wig? Why is a big butt dress supposed to be fancy? Everyone likes big butts. They cannot lie. This is where the song probably came from.
Henry: Instead of kissing at the wedding they should do the chicken dance.
Henry: Are there explosions in this?
Henry: Is everyone going to watch them go to bed? Are they dying? Okay is everyone going to go in their room every night?
Henry: Uhhh (boob shot)
Henry: Did they want them to have a kid their first night together?! Um, they kinda have to know each other first. Jeez.
Henry: I can't wait to go to France and eat pastries.
Me: They're just like the ones at the patisserie.
Henry: No. They're better. Mom, it's Paris.
Henry: Do they have to make a baby here at some point? God, that would be annoying. This prince is a weirdo. He makes keys.
Sal: Why is the King with that girl? That's not the queen? Ew!
Henry: What about that pug?
Henry: They said the princess is fooling around, but the prince is never sleeping with her.
Henry: Don't walk behind that huge dress! Peacock! CA-CAWWW!!
December 2011
17 posts
2 tags
“People who are not interested in food always seem rather dry and unloving and...”
– Julia Child (via isabellemarieb)
3 tags
1 tag
I have the weirdest dreams. Ever.
4 tags
Dear Rick Perry,
I thought I’d educate you a bit on religious persecution.
From 1558 until 1829, Roman Catholics in England were not permitted to practice their faith openly. Someone during that era wrote this carol as a catechism song for young Catholics. It has two levels of meaning: the surface meaning plus a hidden meaning known only to members of their church. Each element in the carol has a code...
My thoughts...
accio-huon-energy:
Rick Perry: I’m not ashamed to admit that I’m a Christian, but you don’t need to be in the pew every Sunday to know there’s something wrong in this country when gays can serve openly in the military but our kids can’t openly celebrate Christmas or pray in school.
Me: I’m sorry, I don’t follow you. That’s like saying, ‘How can an ant carry twenty times its body weight, but...
3 tags
Be careful who you start shit with...
Me: Loser.
Courtney: Your mom.
Me: I took your mom to dinner last night. Such a nice evening. You know what else was nice? The way she screamed my name as I banged the shit out of her after.
Courtney: I'm glad to hear my mom puts out, yours was such a prude.
Me: Well you know what they say about apples and trees and falling shit.
Courtney: Oh, that the apple doesn't fall far from the woman who took a lot of coaxing to get her legs to finally open up?
Me: Something like that, yeah.
Courtney: I love you and you better know this was pure your mom jokes :-* Why are you not napping?
Me: Because my inner frat bro doesn't nap. He dreams about motorboating your mom all night long.
Courtney: Just motorboating. Your inner frat bro has the same impotence issues that your outer napoleonic male does.
3 tags
Politics, dammit!
Michele Bachmann: I'm afraid we won't see a permanent solution to this problem; we'll just temporary gimmicks...
Holly Ho: Yeah, it's called politics sweetie...
3 tags
DAWWWWWW
Pinky: When are you coming home
Me: I have no idea.
Pinky: Well shit
Me: Why?
Pinky: Cause I need me some mimi. Would just fuckin come home?
Who I would vote for before I would vote for Rick...
adequategatsby:
Sean Parker
that asshole in The Karate Kid
my dog, Sadie
Will Schuester
Zooey Deschanel’s character in The New Girl
Matt Smith’s eyebrows
Reasons to not get sick
Tilley: I think I got sicker overnight :/
Me: What kind of sicker??
Tilley: Hurts to swallow.
Me: You probably shouldn't give any blowjobs anytime soon.
Tilley: DAMMIT!